so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Floor bacon is actually really good
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
