Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
