It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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