Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
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