I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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