I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
