drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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