Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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