things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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