Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
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