i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
