this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
