We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
