We're like a lot better than the average bears
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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