i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize