he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Someone came in the potted fern
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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