I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
