He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize