I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Randomize