The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
