the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
