So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
