we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
