I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
