i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
