If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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