i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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