And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
me + whiskey = a bad person
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
