when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
