no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize