Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
