i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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