I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize