worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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