grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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