Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
