WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
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