sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
My penis needs a shock collar
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
