thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
