The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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