I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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