She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
