His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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