If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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