Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Randomize