You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
