Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
