Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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