Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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