Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
