Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
What drink are we having for lunch?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
