Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I think i peed on brittanys purse
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
