I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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