Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize