I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
