it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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