a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
